30. Let me type that again. T H I R T Y ! At 32, I still cannot believe that I am in my thirties.  

Turning thirty truly is a milestone in life. Your twenties are seen as the years where you are figuring out who you in order to “find yourself” while your thirties are seen as a time to really embrace who you have become as a person. Society puts a lot of pressure on people to figure their sh*t out by this age or that age.

Don’t get me wrong, I have fallen into that trap many times. Wondering if I am where I should be by 30. “I can’t believe I haven’t finished writing my first book,” “Ugh, why do I not own my own home yet?” “I wish my life was more like…..” STOP. Back it up. Let’s try this again…

Every year on my birthday, I like to reflect on my life in order to see how far I have come and how much growth I still have to look forward to. I treat my birthday like the New Year because my birthday is the beginning of another chapter of my life. And much like New Years, I tend to make intentions for the year ahead.

However, as I was approaching my 30th birthday, I realized that I have learned a lot of truly important life lessons that will hopefully be a good foundation for my future.

Lessons that allowed me to celebrate my victories and my failures, get to know myself on a deeper level and showed me that success is a matter of perspective.

All that being said, here are 30 lessons I learned before I turned 30:

1. Throw out the timeline

Honestly, my life is nowhere near where I thought it would be by 30. I thought I would be married with at least one kid, living in a house with a white picket fence all while juggling motherhood and my own business. We are conditioned to believe that we need to have this whole life thing figured out but the truth is, no one really knows what they are doing. Even the people that appear to have their sh*t together.

But here I am. 30, single, childless, without a home to call my own and you know what? That is OKAY! It doesn’t mean I failed or that I won’t someday have all of those things. It just means that the choices I have made up until this point led me on a different path. I am taking the scenic route to my dream life. And on the way I ended up following my passion for helping people, opening my heart to what else life has to offer, finding things out about myself that I never knew, filling my life with so many adventures and memories and truly living my best life.

2. Travel often

“Traveling leaves you speechless, then it turns you into a storyteller” – Ibn Battuta

I made a goal when I was 20 to see all 50 states before my 30th birthday. I didn’t reach that goal, however, I was able to see some incredible places. And every place I went, I felt like I found a new piece of myself. I found out more about myself and about how different and not so different people live throughout the country. The more I traveled, the more I learned. The more I learned, the more I craved to learn more. To explore more.

I think my favorite part about traveling is getting to know people. Having conversations with people who live and think or even look differently than you opens your world up to so many things. Life is so much more than the bubble you surround yourself with. This world is so much bigger than us and we need to explore it, learn about it and appreciate it.

3. Move your body

4. Get more sleep

5. Find 3 hobbies: one to make you money, one to keep you in shape and one to be creative

6. Learn your love language

I am sure by now you have heard of the 5 Love Languages. But if you haven’t they are: Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Quality Time, Gifts and Acts of Service.

Everyone gives and receives love in one of these five ways and it is important to not only understand how you receive love, but how the people you love receive love as well. When we understand the way others love to be shown love, we are able to love them better. We allow ourselves to fulfill other’s needs more effectively. When we understand how we need to be loved, we learn to not accept anything short of that kind of love.

7. Don’t lost your inner child

Ever heard the saying, “Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional?” Why is this one of my 30 lessons I learned before 30? Because I feel like that is the best way to approach life. There is nothing we can do about getting older, however, we are only as old as we feel. There is no age when you need to stop believing in the magic of Disney or avoid wearing matching Christmas pajamas. Life doesn’t have to be serious all of the time. Make sure that you are filling your life with laughter and joy.

8. Relationships are here for a reason, a season or a lifetime

This was probably one of the biggest lessons I learned, especially in the last 5 or so years. Relationships are weird. No matter how strong a relationship is at one point in time, there is always the possibility of thinks not working out how you hoped. A friend that felt like family might leave your side, a family member might not show up when you need them, a partner might fall out of love with you.

What is important to realize is that there are levels to relationships. Some are there for the long haul. Those are the people that, even if you don’t see or talk to every day, they are still always there for you. Then you have the people who are there temporarily during a certain stage of your life but you eventually outgrow each other because well…life happens. The ones that seem to sting the most are the ones that are meant to teach you a lesson. There is a reason those people came into your life and sometimes figuring out that reason is how you become a better version of yourself.

9. Deal with your trauma

This is one of the biggest of the 30 lessons I learned before 30. I used to bottle up absolutely everything by sweeping my issues under the rug and focusing more on listening than speaking. I figured they were out of sight, out of mind. But they always found their way to creep back into my life and haunt me worse than before.

I decided to start facing my trauma a little at a time. Reflect on what I had been through, accept it as my reality, and only then was I able to truly start to heal. Your problems won’t just go away just because you don’t talk about them. They just end up creating more anxiety within you until you can’t control it any longer.

10. Wash your face!!

Rachel Hollis had a point with this one. Girl, WASH YOUR FACE! But seriously, her book aside, wash your face. Take care of your damn skin when you’re young. Use clean, quality products. Your future skin will thank me. Beautycounter, perhaps?

11. Slow down & BREATHE

12. Save your money

13. Be grateful every day

14. Practice mindfulness

15. Spend time with the people you love

I don’t think this one needs a whole lot of explanation. Life is short. You never know how long you have with the people you love. Hug them. Cherish them.

Don’t let too much time go by without telling your parents that you love them or let a fight with a friend stop you from being friends. Don’t let your ego destroy a relationship with a partner. Find the people you love and don’t let them go.

16. Closure isn’t required

This is a tough one because at the end of the day, we all want to know why something didn’t work out. Unfortunately, more often than not, we don’t get that closure that we feel like we need. And sometimes, no response, is a response. And if someone can’t give us an explanation as to why they did or said something or ghosted us…do we really want those types of people in our lives anyways?

17. Failure isn’t a bad thing

Fail. Let me say it again. F A I L. I beg you. Fall on your a$$ and learn to be resilient. It is so much more important to try and fail than to never try at all. Will is hurt? Absolutely. Will you feel like giving up sometimes? Hell yes. But when you finally succeed, it will feel that much sweeter because you know that it took a heck of a lot of hard work and consistency. It took a lot of punches to the gut, blood, sweat and tears. In the end, all the failures will be worth it.

18. Balance is key

As a Libra, I am all about balance. Work-life balance. Structure and chaos. Yin and Yang. Never take life too seriously but never take it serious enough. Don’t spend your 20s and 30s busting your butt in the corporate world with hopes of retiring and kicking back and enjoying life by 40. Live life now and live life when you’re 40.

19. Decluttering your space, declutters your mind

Between Marie Kondo and The Home Edit, my organization and cleanliness has gotten more intense than ever before. Not only do I thoroughly enjoy having systems with my organization, but it is so practical and makes cleaning up a mess that much easier.

I started to realize I had too much stuff. I would purge here and there and donate my gently used items and realized that the more I did that, the easier it became to let things go. And the more materialistic things I let go, the more clutter was free from my mind. I didn’t hoard my thoughts anymore. I realized that by holding on to too many things, it was my crutch to hold onto too many things in my head as well. And I didn’t want to do that anymore. I wanted to be rid of the clutter and organize the chaos so I could feel light and free.

20. Always be curious & willing to learn

This was a life lesson I learned from my 6 year old niece. She asks “why” more than any human I have ever met. She asks us such intelligent questions completely, unintentionally. And I love that about her. She isn’t afraid to challenge things and form her own opinion. She isn’t afraid to educate herself. I feel like we were all like that at one point and somewhere along the way, we lost the motivation to be curious. She inspires me to live life more curiously. To try and see things from the lens of a 6 year old by letting life excite me and interest me and to learn about things that I do not know while not being afraid to ask questions.

21. Learn to love yourself

22. Health is wealth

23. Pick a career that aligns with your passion & money will follow

24. Trust you gut

25. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable

I have had my heart broken many times, especially in my twenties. The pain doesn’t last forever and it is so important that you keep putting yourself out there. Being vulnerable is scary as hell, but it can also be so exciting. Especially when that time comes that you find your special someone.

If you never try, you’ll never know. And I would rather have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. I am a hopeless romantic living in what seems to be a romantically hopeless world and yet, I never give up hope. I allow my heart to feel what it feels and no, feelings are not always reciprocated and that is okay. Just don’t stop trying, k?

26. Everyone knows something you don’t

If you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the WRONG room! Don’t get me wrong, I love learning things and teaching them to other people. But I also want to learn from other people. I like to have conversations with people who’s views differ from mine. People who experience life differently than me. People who learned things a different way. 2+2=4, but so does 3+1 or 4+0.

Seeing life from different perspectives allows you to develop your own thoughts and opinions beyond the what you may have thought you knew.

27. Manifestation works

Okay, maybe not 100% of what you say you want comes true, but I am a strong believer in what you put out into the world comes back to you. When you want something bad enough, you work for it. You fight for it. And by manifesting the life you want, you put it out into the universe that you are ready for it. And when things align, then you get what you asked for.

28. Small progress is still progress

29. Being kind is cool

30. It’s about the journey, not the destination

I never want to reach a point in life and think, “Okay, I crossed everything off my bucket list, now what?” I want to enjoy all the little moments, go on endless adventures, travel the world, find my love story. I want to keep growing as a person, change the world, see the beauty in each day and know I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

Take it all in and just BE.